Patric J. Dufficy: Dealers in Hope

1. Positive comments.
2. Negative, but constructive comments.
3. Negative, and destructive comments.

How to deal with positive comments

You must accept positive comments like you accept a personal gift.
The weird thing is that many people rejects positive comments.
Look at those situations, you most likely already heard them.

“You look wonderful today”
– “Come on, I look as always”

“You did a great job”
– “Oh, It’s nothing”

“Your new wrist watch is really nice”
– “Yeah, but it’s not real gold”

Responding like this is the same as putting away a gift from someone without looking at it.
A right way to respond to a positive comment is so simple… You just have to say, “Thank you” with a smile.

How to deal with negative, but constructive comments
Negative, but constructive comments will help you get better. A lot of people get defensive when facing someone who make a negative-constructive comment.
You should be thankful when someone gives you a negative-constructive comment, it’s for your best interest. A person with no interest in you, will simply shut-up on things you may doing wrong, and let you repeat them over and over.

Like with positive comments, the proper answer is a simple “Thank you for your feedback”.

Just take the feedback from people, deeply think about it before going into a defensive mode too quickly and use it to correct yourself. This is a must to become a better person.
This is also helpful in work places and in business, take every colleagues or clients feedback in an effort to improve your work or business.

How to deal with negative and destructive comments
Negative-destructive comments are intended to cause pain and not to help improvement.
Often, the problem isn’t with you at all, but with the person itself who probably struggle with many problems of his own.

The best thing to do when confronted with negative-destructive comments is just to let it flow like water on a rhinoceros carapace or like someone I know like to say, “like a spit on a war tank”.

We are forced to realise that many people are doing all the opposite of what we are suppose to do in response to those three comments. We dismiss positive comments, we fight negative-constructive ones, and we swallow the ones that are negative-destructive.

Learn to identify the difference between these three comments and force yourself to respond with the right attitude.
Say “Thank you” with a genuine smile to a positive comment.
Say “Thanks for the feedback” when confronted to a negative, but constructive comment, and use it to better yourself.
And just let the negative-destructive comment flow down your back, and remember that it’s usually a problem with the other person’s attitude.

Thanks for reading, Patric J. Dufficy